Have you ever been rebellious just because someone told you that you could not or should not do it? Ever wanted to press the “DO NOT PRESS” button? Of course most of you have or have considered it, but most children who have helicopter parents would of all be the most curious or anxious. Babies are so impotent and harmless that it is natural for parents to be cautious and careful. However, as they grow up and mature some mothers and fathers just do not want to cut the umbilical chord. These helicopter parents want to protect their children from the “real world” with all the criminals and bad people, and want to be like guardian angels of their children. One article, Overprotective Parents, agrees that children are supposed to grow up and run, jump, fall, cry, and have some scars on the elbows and legs without the interference of over-bearing parents. Do you believe that this parental behavior is hurting relationship and the children? When children become older (especially in their teens), they do not view the hovering as love or nurturing; they see it as their parents not trusting them or considering them to have sufficient judgement to act on their own. These types of children who have parents to hover most likely result in defiance. So how do these parents know when to stop and can they?
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
HELICOPTER PARENTS - Stop Hovering ME!!!!
Have you ever been rebellious just because someone told you that you could not or should not do it? Ever wanted to press the “DO NOT PRESS” button? Of course most of you have or have considered it, but most children who have helicopter parents would of all be the most curious or anxious. Babies are so impotent and harmless that it is natural for parents to be cautious and careful. However, as they grow up and mature some mothers and fathers just do not want to cut the umbilical chord. These helicopter parents want to protect their children from the “real world” with all the criminals and bad people, and want to be like guardian angels of their children. One article, Overprotective Parents, agrees that children are supposed to grow up and run, jump, fall, cry, and have some scars on the elbows and legs without the interference of over-bearing parents. Do you believe that this parental behavior is hurting relationship and the children? When children become older (especially in their teens), they do not view the hovering as love or nurturing; they see it as their parents not trusting them or considering them to have sufficient judgement to act on their own. These types of children who have parents to hover most likely result in defiance. So how do these parents know when to stop and can they?
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Most parents don't even realize their actions. They can't see it as hovering but only protecting sometimes a little too much. Can you fault a parent for wanting the best for their child? Can you rebel because they never want to see you hurt physically, psychologically, or emotionally? I know for a fact one of the best ways to deal with the situation is to talk to the parent. Most kids are so angry that they don't think of how easy it could be to solve the issue. What makes you jump to blame the parents for bad behavior[rebeling]? When all the child has to do is sit the parent down and talk the issue out.
ReplyDeleteMany children that have overprotective parents can really relate to this blog. When overprotective parents are present, they do not understand the effects that it has on their child. They look at it as if they are only trying to protect their child. The parents also see it as a way to show their children that they care for them. A parent does not think about the disadvantages there are to this act. I know many teenagers that are a witness to this type of treatment and wish that the condition could change. I say teenager because she can relate more to the post. A young child does not understand what an overprotective parent is and probably views as if it is normal for a parent to behave in that manner. However, for teenagers that have friends that can go places or do a variety of activities that they cannot be a part of, it hits them more. “They believe that their parents just do not trust them to be sensible and responsible”.
ReplyDeleteThe post above brings up a good idea about the teenager communicating with the parent. It is easy for the child to have a one- on- one talk with the parents about their feelings. However, what if the parent does not listen? What is the child to do at that point? Should the teenager continue to obey her parent or rebel against her parent?
http://www.indiaparenting.com/articles/data/art09_012.shtml
This article is informative and very relatable. This article is the story of my life. My parents are very overprotective. Before I when to college I would never do what my parents would say even if it was as little as making up my bed. If my mom would tell me to practice the harp, I would wait around to do it and practice for a little and it would not be productive, but when she forgot to tell me, I would practice all on my own and could learn a song in a few hours. If my parents had let me do what I wanted to I feel that I would be a whole different person and probably playing violin for Kanye West by now. Most of my friends who have overprotective parents are very rebellious also and sneak out to parties and some are heavily into drugs simply because they wanted to get back at their parents. A little protection is ok, but when it gets to a certain point it can disastrous.
ReplyDeleteMost parents are just trying to keep in their childs life, they know that once a child becomes an adult they don't really need mama and daddy anymore. If parents made a good impression through the 18 years it took to raise their children their children will always need their mamas and daddys. If I was a parent I would smother my child for the first 12 years then after that turn them loose, see the as growing adults and watch them make the decisions that will build them up. Children cant learn by not doing their own things, they have to learn from their mistakes. When a child does something on her own for the first time, it is a great accomplishment, even if it is something as insignificant as learning to ride a bicycle. Parents who wrap their children in cotton wool, in a manner of speaking, are denying their children this pleasure. http://www.indiaparenting.com/articles/data/art09_012.shtml Parents who are overprotective when their kids get older do nothing but push them away and make them feel like small children who can't do anything on their own.
ReplyDeleteWow. This topic is one that is very interesting because I don't think it is discussed enough. Parents,today, are misunderstanding the difference between "nurturing and overprotective", while trying to keep their children untainted from the " good and bad" of the world. Its one thing to tell your child, "no you can't do this or that because its inappropriate", but it's another to say no because you don't want them introduced to life that will eventually have to be faced. The site http://ezinearticles.com/?Overprotective-Parents&id=1042777 says that "Over protective parents create continuous situations from which their children struggle to escape, until eventually there is no escape as the fears have become part of the pattern for the child's way of thinking." This shows that their methods of "parenting" is ineffective and is hindering them from gaining values such as responsibility, self esteem, and independence. At this point, there is no return and an adult that knows absolutely nothing about the world has been created.
ReplyDeleteThe title of your article is eye-catching, but you do not provide much information on your topic. Nevertheless, I do agree that some parents go overboard with hovering over their children. Before my parent's divorce, I lived under my father's strict rules. He was protective because he cared about my sisters and I. However, now that I live with my mother, I realize that a parent can care for their children without being so strict. Children need freedom, they need to learn on their own, and they need to teach themselves what's right. Yes, parents do need to step in sometimes, but every once in a while children need to learn their own lessons.
ReplyDeleteIn the early stages of a child's life, the parents stay within feet of them, making sure they are right there to catch them when they fall. As the parents get used to doing this, they feel like they always need to be there. For a first time parent to act as if they can't let their child out of their sight, I understand. It could be that they were raised like that, and only know that way. However, following your child, and then following your teen everywhere they go can be very harmful. Like laurenkelli said, "teens can see it as not trusting them." Teens may then rebel because of how close their parents feel they have to be. Letting go, and "cutting the cord" will help your child grow up and become an adult.
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