HELICOPTER PARENTS - Stop Hovering ME!!!!

The article, "The Growing Backlash Against Overparenting", gave a simple message stating "Less is more; hovering is dangerous; failure is fruitful. You really want your children to succeed? Learn when to leave them alone. When you lighten up, they'll fly higher. We're often the ones who hold them down." I could not agree with this statement more. In response to the comments, I am not directly blaming the parents for the behaviors that their child acts upon nor am I saying that teens rebel because they know that their parents do not want to see them hurt. I am making a claim that parental "hovering" behavior is a factor in what allures children to want to rebel and participate in things that they know they should not. Of course, it is only natural for parents to want the best for their children, I did not mention otherwise. If the child chooses to communicate to his or her parents, would the parents listen? Based on their helicopter mentality, they already know what is best for the child and will most likely continue their habits, disregarding the expression of their child. Perhaps hovering is not that bad! Helicopter Parents Reconsidered," provides from a review of research studies by the Harvard Family Research Project, that teens whose parents play an active role do better in school and are more likely to enroll in college. That research also states that hovered children earned lower grades. What could this be the effect of? From parental pressure? Some younger children will even use their parents' parental "protection" as an advantage, especially when education comes into play. Instead of speaking to a teacher about tutorial sessions or wondering why they make a certain grade, they do not confront the teachers on a student-to-teacher level. They just say "Here, talk to my mom." They are not sure whether what they are doing is correct or not, so they got to their mother to confirm. Does not this hinder him or her from speaking up for their self? Will they always depend on a higher authority to make a decision for them? This sure does not sound like good parenting!

HELICOPTER PARENTS - Stop Hovering ME!!!!

Have you ever been rebellious just because someone told you that you could not or should not do it? Ever wanted to press the “DO NOT PRESS” button? Of course most of you have or have considered it, but most children who have helicopter parents would of all be the most curious or anxious. Babies are so impotent and harmless that it is natural for parents to be cautious and careful. However, as they grow up and mature some mothers and fathers just do not want to cut the umbilical chord. These helicopter parents want to protect their children from the “real world” with all the criminals and bad people, and want to be like guardian angels of their children. One article, Overprotective Parents, agrees that children are supposed to grow up and run, jump, fall, cry, and have some scars on the elbows and legs without the interference of over-bearing parents. Do you believe that this parental behavior is hurting relationship and the children? When children become older (especially in their teens), they do not view the hovering as love or nurturing; they see it as their parents not trusting them or considering them to have sufficient judgement to act on their own. These types of children who have parents to hover most likely result in defiance. So how do these parents know when to stop and can they?

"I Hit You because I Love You"

When you see a young child having a temper tantrum in a store because they’re parents told them they could not have any candy, how do you think the situation should be handled? Some would say be talking to them and soothing them would be good, some would say completely ignoring them, but what if none of these work? This is when you pull out the big guns: The Hand, The Belt, or The Switch. In my family, there are a variety of uses of discipline, but I noticed with the ones who were spanked were doing better in school and were very respectful to their elders while the ones who were not spanked did not do what they were told, were very disrespectful to any and everyone, and were not as successful in school.

Researchers say that spanking can have good effects when use properly. Most children who have parents who use corporal punishment as a disciplinary tool have more productive lives and have respect for their elders. In the article, “Spanking Your Kid is a Good Way to Discipline”, it says that when only verbal discipline is used, a child get the feeling that they can do what they want and not get in too much trouble about it, and as they get older, they simply lose all respect and do not listen to there parents at all. Although spanking is a good thing, when used too early or too late in life, it can be ineffective. In the studies of psychologist Marjorie Gunnoe, she says that spanking is best effective for the age of two to six years of age. Some studies say that if a child is spanked before the age of two then the child could have development problems and if used too late in childhood, then it can lead to abusive behavior and problems learning in school. This is why i feel that spanking your child is effective, but only when used properly.

Effects on Children With Gay/Lesbian Parents

Effects on Children With Gay/Lesbian Parents:

What makes a family? Some may say, “a father, a mother, and any children that may result in their love and happiness,” but the meaning of the world family has changed dramatically over the years. Lately, this term family has escalated to a level that most are uncomfortable with. We see two women walking down the street holding hands, while watching their son run ahead of them, or two men playing in the park with a little girl they adopted. Are these groups of people any thing less than a family? Some may argue that these people are not families, well, not in the traditional sense. I have been with my partner for three and half years, and we have a 15-month-old son. We are more than a group of people. We are a family, and I will not be considered as anything less than that. My son is quite a character just as any child his age. He cries, laughs, and loves to hug. None of which, are negative effects of being raised by two mothers. But with all of our opinions pushed aside regarding if families are really families, let’s discuss they the effects upon children that live within same-sex parent homes.

National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) has some pretty interesting findings when a study was conducted around homes without a father. This study included homes with single heterosexual mothers, and homes with two lesbian mothers. One finding included that sons of lesbian mothers are more likely to be more nurturing and affectionate to their future families. Another observation during the study showed daughter whether with heterosexual mother or lesbian mother were more likely to have future occupations in areas that were traditionally non-female. A third finding told researchers that children raised by lesbians were more likely to consider a homosexual relationship. The information above is certainly not all the data collected, and not all nontraditional families should be limited to be these results.

There is another interesting article I found while looking into this issue. The article, “Children of Lesbians May Do Better Than Their Peers,” reassured me as a lesbian mother. Children of lesbian mothers seems to have no significant differences in social development and adjustments compared to children raised in heterosexual homes. However, even with the almost unnoticeable differences with children’s social development and adjustments the children have higher levels of self-esteem and confidence, and did better academically. This is an amazing find. We, as a society, have been told that homosexuality is bad, and will only affect the children of America in negative ways. This article proves that we, as homosexuals, are breaking barriers, and proving ourselves as parents and as families.

While doing research on this subject I cannot find much information regarding the effects on children that may have two fathers. What do you think that is? My opinion is that it is much harder to become a parent if you are two gay males trying to start a family. Adoption can be difficult and expensive, and finding someone to carry the child can be time consuming, again expensive, and emotional draining. What are your thoughts?

World of Dance acceptable outlet for provocative outfits and behavior?

In an ABC report a controversial video streaming the internet was exposed and debated. Written by John Berman and Sarah Netter, the story goes on describing the video. A group of young girls, ranging between 7and 9 years old, took part in a dance competition held by the organization W.O.D. (World of Dance). The girls danced to Beyonce's "Single Ladies" in a not so young and innocent way. The video, which can be watched on YouTube, shows the reactions to not only the live audience, but the internet audience as well. Some people, including the parents see nothing wrong with the production. Others, including much of the YouTube audience and  myself find many reasons why the dance in inappropriate. First off, the age of the girls is frightening. Young children especially girls, are growing up too fast. In an article, part of the NY Daily News, Dr. Phil McGraw weighed on the video and reality of girls growing up too fast. McGraw uses justifiable statements to describe the video such as "wildly inappropriate" and "sexually provocative." As a young woman myself, I could not agree any more with the words described above. 

Children ages 7,8, and 9 should not be dancing inappropriately, especially trained to perform such behavior in front of thousands of people. Where are the parents in this? Do they realize the image the girls are making for themselves? The parents of one dancer had an interview with "Good Morning America" about the issue. The parents stand firm with their girl and state the video has been "...taken completely out of context." The father also stated "The girls weren't meant to be viewed by millions of people." With that said does the fact the girls are bumping and grinding and wearing provocative outfits at such a young age make it alright? No of course not! Just because the girls routine wasn't meant to be showed to anyone outside of the crowd does not make it acceptable for them to be behave in such a manner.


The actions taken by the parents, or lack of, is just as unacceptable as their daughter's actions are. With good parenting this story would have never existed. Hopefully the controversy paralyzes the need for such dancing and actions by children in the future and results in more effective parenting in the lives of their youth.