Effects on Children With Gay/Lesbian Parents:
What makes a family? Some may say, “a father, a mother, and any children that may result in their love and happiness,” but the meaning of the world family has changed dramatically over the years. Lately, this term family has escalated to a level that most are uncomfortable with. We see two women walking down the street holding hands, while watching their son run ahead of them, or two men playing in the park with a little girl they adopted. Are these groups of people any thing less than a family? Some may argue that these people are not families, well, not in the traditional sense. I have been with my partner for three and half years, and we have a 15-month-old son. We are more than a group of people. We are a family, and I will not be considered as anything less than that. My son is quite a character just as any child his age. He cries, laughs, and loves to hug. None of which, are negative effects of being raised by two mothers. But with all of our opinions pushed aside regarding if families are really families, let’s discuss they the effects upon children that live within same-sex parent homes.
National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) has some pretty interesting findings when a study was conducted around homes without a father. This study included homes with single heterosexual mothers, and homes with two lesbian mothers. One finding included that sons of lesbian mothers are more likely to be more nurturing and affectionate to their future families. Another observation during the study showed daughter whether with heterosexual mother or lesbian mother were more likely to have future occupations in areas that were traditionally non-female. A third finding told researchers that children raised by lesbians were more likely to consider a homosexual relationship. The information above is certainly not all the data collected, and not all nontraditional families should be limited to be these results.
There is another interesting article I found while looking into this issue. The article, “Children of Lesbians May Do Better Than Their Peers,” reassured me as a lesbian mother. Children of lesbian mothers seems to have no significant differences in social development and adjustments compared to children raised in heterosexual homes. However, even with the almost unnoticeable differences with children’s social development and adjustments the children have higher levels of self-esteem and confidence, and did better academically. This is an amazing find. We, as a society, have been told that homosexuality is bad, and will only affect the children of America in negative ways. This article proves that we, as homosexuals, are breaking barriers, and proving ourselves as parents and as families.
While doing research on this subject I cannot find much information regarding the effects on children that may have two fathers. What do you think that is? My opinion is that it is much harder to become a parent if you are two gay males trying to start a family. Adoption can be difficult and expensive, and finding someone to carry the child can be time consuming, again expensive, and emotional draining. What are your thoughts?
This blog very much coincides with the one that I wrote myself, so of course I have an interest in this topic. I chose to read your blog because I wrote about gay couples being allowed to adopt, and you wrote on the effects of children with gay parents. Maybe I left something out in my blog that I could quote from yours, or maybe we had the same idea. I wanted to read to see where you were coming from on this issue.
ReplyDeleteI think that this is a very well written blog. What first caught my attention was of course the title, secondly the most adorable picture! The only thing that I did not fully understand was when you stated that "A third finding told researchers that children raised by lesbians were more likely to consider a homosexual relationship." -- My question to you is, do you believe this to be a negative or positive effect? And when you say "consider a homosexual relationship" do you mean that they are more likely to become gay themselves, or that they are more likely to accept other gays as they grow older?
The title explains the topic fully, and the opening, in my opinion was grand. You started off with a question and answered it from "their" opinion and then from yours. It definately made me want to continue in the reading.
Your argument was easy for me to follow. I just have a couple things that I want to comment on. At the beginning when you said "Are these groups of people any thing less than a family?" -- My opinion, if it matters, is that NO THEY ARE NOT. What would NOT make it a family? Heck if I know. Two parents and a child/ren. What else? That is family to me. And the other thing that I wanted to say something about it when you stated that "We are a family, and I will not be considered as anything less than that." -- That is WONDERFUL! You have no reason to be considered as anything less than a family, because you all are not anything less of one. Like I just stated, you both are parents and you have a child and I am sure that you show him unconditional love. That IS a family.
Good job on this blog!
Thanks for all the positive feedback!
ReplyDeleteRegarding to you question, I hope to gave you the answer you are looking for. As far as children considering same sex relationship, it is just that consideration. For example, I once considered becoming a doctor, but as I got older I realized that profession wasn't for me. Someone may consider being in a relationship with someone of the same sex, but through whatever reason realize that type of lifestyle isn't for them. In many ways, I think that when someone can consider something society views as abnormal, they in reality are more accepting of the issue, don't you?
It is easy to define the word family, and you did it rather well. A group of people who love and support one another is what family is to me. If it's so easy for us to define it, why the is rest of the world having such issues?
I really enjoyed reading your blog. A family is a group of people that shows love and affection, that supports each other in all that they choose to do. Whether the child is being raised by 2 fathers or 2 mothers, is not a problem. It's not about "who" the child is raised by, it's about "how" the child is raised. 2 thumbs up to you and your partner for raising a child. I wish you the best of luck. Your blog is very informative and I like it. No one should be judged because of who they are or who they choose to be, or what they choose to do. It's their decision, their life!
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