"What have I done to you? I thought you loved me? Why do you keep hurting me." These are the constant cries of teens in abusive relationships. According to kidshealth.org, 1 in 11 high school students report being physically hurt on a date.
When the popular jock, or cheerleader approaches you in school you never think he will put his hands on me. She will never slap me if another girl says hello to me. You are caught up in the looks of how you two will be precieve when everyone finds out you go with the most popular male, or female in school. Many of times as adolesecents we act nonchalant towards the red flags that we are in an abusive relationship. We go through the abuse mentally, physically, and emotionally. 1 in 4 teens girls who have been in a relationship revealed they had been pressued to perform oral sex or engaged in intercoure. More than 1 in 4 teens girls in a relationship(26%) report endurng repeated verbal abuse.
Why do we never speak up? Why do we never turn to someone for help? Nearly 80% of teens who are in a domestic violent relationship stay in the relationship with their abuser. That same popular guy at school has now given you a black eye, and fractured a vital bone. The most popular ,and beautiful cheerleader has slapped him for the first time. He was always taught not to hit a women, so he starts to distant himself more and more from her. Your friends take notcie to the changes in you. Suddenly you began to show signs of "power and control".
This epidemic of domestic violence in relationships amongst teens stream from their partners having to be in control, jealousy, possessiveness, and manipulation. Charcteristics held by a person in a relationship such as these are warnings to seperated yourself early from having to advance further into a relationship that will tear down your self-esteem and dignity. Everyone does not hold the power to walk away or fight back.
So............When will it be enough to walk away?
Answering your question "why do we never speak up?" In many abusive relationships the abuser has startled their companion in such a way that seeking for help may seem life threatening. The thing that caught my attention the most about your blog was the fact that you chose to use teenage abuse; this made it a little easier to relate to your topic. One way I feel you could enhance your argument is express some ways teens could go about getting help, or how someone could help another person in a domestic violence situation. That way you could say there is no reason for domestic violence. I found a great article at http://www.livestrong.com/article/84822-someone-abusive-relationship/ that may in fact help you advance your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteIn response to "When will it be enough to walk away?", this should never be a question in the minds of victims that are abused. The first time he or she is abused is when it's enough. I like that you addressed both sides, male and female because both genders can be abusive. It is not just the males who are known for abusing, but females also. "He/She said they will never do it again", this is the most said line of all victims. Well, guess what it is not true, once he or she does it the first time, then they definitely will do it agian, in my opinion. This is when it becomes a bad habit. The "young love" part of your title is what caught my attention because many think that abuse doesn't exist in young love, oh but it does. It does not only happen with adults, but teens and young adults also. Many factors can trigger abuse in young love. Who knows exactly why? It could be because they were abused at a younger age, drugs, or maybe something that they seen that went on in their home,etc. What would you do in an abusive relationship or in this situation. Here is the link to a great article that may help.http://www.troubledteen101.com/articles47.html
ReplyDeleteDomestic violence is something that is quite often over looked in teen relationships. So how exactly are you to help someone in a domestic violence relationship at a young age? The first step in helping a youth in a domestic relationship is making sure they want to receive help. As crazy as it may sound, not all people in a domestic relationship seek help, because they have the mindset that their lover will either change and stop hitting them, or they are strung up on the fact that “he/she said they love me.” In many adult cases of domestic violence, not only are the adults harmed but even the children, which at times is the cause of youth domestic violence. “If children live with hostility, they learn to fight…” As quoted from the poem Children learn what they live By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D. This is basically saying that children have tendencies to grasp what they see, and if violence is what they see, more than likely they will find that correct. This is not always the case at times they know right from wrong and know that they don’t want to be a certain way when they grow up, but in most cases “I want to be just like my mommy/ daddy when I get older,” is what you hear. Youth domestic violence is learned from somewhere, whether it be at home or from a friend, but parents should be able to help their child, if this situation ever occurs
ReplyDeleteDomestic violence is actually going on more than people think about it. It is probably more than one in eleven high school students that are involved in some type of violence in a relationship. I have been in an abusive relationship before and it was a chain of coincidences, or blessings, which actually got me out of the relationship. To answer your question, “Why do we never speak up?” a lot of the time the victim is threatened in various ways if they were to tell. You know for a fact that they will hit you so when they threaten to kill you why wouldn’t you believe them? My whole family was trying to get me out of the abusive relationship with my boyfriend but I was so brainwashed I didn’t see what he was doing to me was wrong. I think for me it was just a lesson learned and I was luckily able to get out of the situation. From now on I try to look at a person’s characteristics about them and if they show violent traits then I’ll try to distance myself as much as possible. I do agree with your statement that “This epidemic of domestic violence in relationships amongst teens stream from their partners having to be in control, jealousy, possessiveness, and manipulation.” Those are some characteristics you have to learn to stay away from. All in all, I believe that the only reason that I am not in this abusive relationship because he was sent to jail over something that was not related to his violence towards me. So the real question is how do you get out of an abusive relationship safely if you’re being watched and monitored almost 24/7?
ReplyDeleteAfter posting my two previous blogs I have discovered abuse has almost become like an everyday occurrence amongst our society. Whenever we witness someone being abuse whether it is a child by its parent, a spouse by his or her husband or wife, or just adolescence amongst each other we never speak out to help that individual. Most of the time we are not always educated on how to step in properly to help get someone out of an abusive relationship. http://www.suite101.com/content/abusive-relationships-a43786 this link gives great insight on how to prepare and help a friend who comes to you as an escape from violence with their spouse. A question was posed how would you leave someone who is constantly under surveillance, and my answer to that would be depending on how determined you are to change your circumstances there will be a way out http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_help_treatment_prevention.htm
ReplyDeleteThis link gives steps on helping someone in a domestic situation transition to safe houses and shelters. Abuse in a form is wrong; if ever you come to encounter a domestic violence situation ask yourself what would I do if it were I? How will I be able to point out the red flags? Could I really turn my back on this situation and be okay walking away? Not everyone posses the strength or the power to stand up towards a person they fear and the anger that comes along with them.