The article, "The Growing Backlash Against Overparenting", gave a simple message stating "Less is more; hovering is dangerous; failure is fruitful. You really want your children to succeed? Learn when to leave them alone. When you lighten up, they'll fly higher. We're often the ones who hold them down." I could not agree with this statement more. In response to the comments, I am not directly blaming the parents for the behaviors that their child acts upon nor am I saying that teens rebel because they know that their parents do not want to see them hurt. I am making a claim that parental "hovering" behavior is a factor in what allures children to want to rebel and participate in things that they know they should not. Of course, it is only natural for parents to want the best for their children, I did not mention otherwise. If the child chooses to communicate to his or her parents, would the parents listen? Based on their helicopter mentality, they already know what is best for the child and will most likely continue their habits, disregarding the expression of their child. Perhaps hovering is not that bad! Helicopter Parents Reconsidered," provides from a review of research studies by the Harvard Family Research Project, that teens whose parents play an active role do better in school and are more likely to enroll in college. That research also states that hovered children earned lower grades. What could this be the effect of? From parental pressure? Some younger children will even use their parents' parental "protection" as an advantage, especially when education comes into play. Instead of speaking to a teacher about tutorial sessions or wondering why they make a certain grade, they do not confront the teachers on a student-to-teacher level. They just say "Here, talk to my mom." They are not sure whether what they are doing is correct or not, so they got to their mother to confirm. Does not this hinder him or her from speaking up for their self? Will they always depend on a higher authority to make a decision for them? This sure does not sound like good parenting!
I totally agree with you. In my opinion children who have hovering parents tend to be more dependant on their parents. It doesn't give them the freedom to branch out because there goes their parents all the time. I also feel that children with parents of these kind will not know how to make decisions for themselves as well as others. They will always go to their parents when time to make decisions which making decisions is a part of growing up. The parents really think they are protecting them but they are really hindering which will effect them when it comes time for the real world. This is a great article (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/390662/helicopter_parents_hover_too_closely.html)that you may want to take a look at about helicopter parents. Do you think parents actually know the effect that this will have on their children? Will they ever know when it's time to stop the hovering?
ReplyDeleteFrankly, I would rather have helicopter parents that "hover" rather than parents who "jet", if you know what I mean, but I understand where you are coming from. I agree with the hovering standpoint that parents who do everything for their children are potentially hindering them in different aspects of life, but I don't agree that it allures the children to rebel or participate in bad things. For instance, a teen will not rebel against his or her parents for paying their cell phone bill, buying them a car, or allowing them to party without a curfew. The rebellion seems to happen when the parent(s) enforce curfew, refuse to give the keys, or turn the phone off. The rebellion is because the teen is not getting what they want, when they want it and having to follow rules, not because the parent is doing everything for them.
ReplyDeleteMost parents want their children to have a better chance at life than they had, so most of the "hovering" is generated from that standpoint. It is true that parents should not provoke arguementive confrontations or nitpick, but there is nothing wrong with enforcing rules or giving experienced advice and warnings. Some parents could care less and are not even around. http://kristof.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/06/23/parents-who-dont-parent/
Children and teens need to know that our society and freedom depend on rules and laws. If they break them, they could possibly lose their life and/or freedom, and if they go to jail, following rules will get a whole new meaning.
When I read the title of this blog, my mind went immediately to a friend of mine. Her mother watches her like a hawk; everything she does is under scrutiny. If we want to go out, we usually dont even bother asking her to come. We know he mother is going to ask a million questions before she inevitably tells her no.
ReplyDeleteWith that being said, I agree that "parental "hovering" behavior is a factor in what allures children to want to rebel and participate in things that they know they should not", as my friend now attends college states away from her mother's Georgia home. She has also participated in activities that her mother would definitely find inappropriate.
When parents learn when to step in and when not to, these parents will allow their children to make their own decisions allowing them to mature and be the adults their parents would want them to be. Hovering stifles a childs growth.