In my first blog I discussed how women are treated by men if they are in an abusive relationship. What I didn’t look at or focus on was how men can be abused by women. When men are in the process of growing up, they are taught to be strong and they are told that complaining is a sign of weakness. This is why men who are in abusive relationships are reluctant and ashamed to say anything, even if the relationship is becoming life-threatening. According to a battered men website, a few signs to look for in finding out if you are being abused is if your wife or girlfriend:
- Embarrasses or humiliates you in front of friends or family
- Intimidates you
- Threatens you or threatens to harm herself if you leave her
- Treats you as if you are her servant
- Restricts your contact with others
- Makes you feel afraid or as if you need to “be careful” around her
The list goes on and on. Below is a link to a diagram of the cycle of abuse from the “Heart to Heart Network, a Support Network and Self-Help Database for Abused Women.”
- Embarrasses or humiliates you in front of friends or family
- Intimidates you
- Threatens you or threatens to harm herself if you leave her
- Treats you as if you are her servant
- Restricts your contact with others
- Makes you feel afraid or as if you need to “be careful” around her
The list goes on and on. Below is a link to a diagram of the cycle of abuse from the “Heart to Heart Network, a Support Network and Self-Help Database for Abused Women.”
Just recently, I saw male abuse on television and I thought to myself “how long has this been going on in our world without me knowing about it.” The question I’m posing to you this time is do you think that abuse is a growing problem that should be worked on or is it still something that is pushed off to the side and not many people are worried about? Just remember that abuse effects everyone.
I do not agree that it is okay to physically hurt anyone at anytime. I am aware that men are mostly known for abusing women. I do believe tha this is a growing problem in our world. Domestic abuse has been around forever. This abuse issue must be dealt with hopefully sooner rather than later.
ReplyDeleteDomestic violence should not happen to anybody. Ever. Period. But it does - and when it does, there is help. Maybe you have lived with abuse, maybe it happened just once; maybe you work or live next to someone who is being abused right now. Whoever you are, this book can show you how and where to get help. It is not fair. You should not have to leave your home because of what your abuser has done. But sometimes it is the only way you will be safe. If you have been hurt, go to the hospital or your doctor. Domestic violence advocates (people to help you) may be called to the hospital. They are there to give you support. You may ask medical staff to call one for you. There are many ways you can solve this abuse problem and people are there tyo help.
ReplyDeleteto add to the last comment the book is called HAVEN!!!
ReplyDeleteYes, domestic violence is constantly growing and it is really becoming a problem. But it's not the men that are doing in nowadays. It's women. It all depends on what they went through when they were children. I'm not saying that it's okay, BECAUSE IT'S NOT, and I'm not making up excuses for it either, I'm just saying that there are reasons behind abusiveness. I can kind of relate because the way I was brought up, my brothers always told me to not let a a dude run over me, so that gave me the impression to run over them. I've been called abusive before and I've also been in an abusive relationship. Women [and men] have to learn to step up and defend themselves. It's hard and scary as ever but it is possible. Your blog really makes me open my eyes and realize all the things that I've done to the dudes I've dated in the past, and I want to thank you for bringing this to the public [your opinion and facts]. This is a great blog blog and I'm sure alot of people can relate. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteIt is true that domestic abuse goes both ways, but it's the abuse against women that is reported most often. If a woman physically abuses a man, he is less likely to report it for a variety of reasons. Most men will just take it. That's not to say that they can't physically handle a woman if they wanted to, but there are a lot of men that will not put their hands on a woman because of how they were raised, childhood experiences, etc. Some women get to know that, and take advantage of it or try to provoke the man to hit them so she can call the police on him.
ReplyDeleteEither way, it should not happen. This topic should be discussed as soon as two people decide to be in a relationship together.
Surely, when you are interested in someone you don't hit them or verbally abuse them when you first start to date, so why do it later on. The relationship should be dissolved at the first incident of violent behavior.
They should respect and treat each other the same way they did when they first met, and continue to do things and have fun together. That will lead to a dedicated and abuse free relationship.
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ReplyDeleteDomestic violence has always been around. It goes for men beating women, as well as women beating men. However, the majority of cases that are presented to the public are the ones that display men beating women. For example, on the Maury show, there are only men presented that beat their women/girlfriends. I understand that men have their reasons for keeping their abusive relationships private. However, men should be treated like a human being, just like females want to be treated. How does someone obtain the mindset that the victim will not retailate?
ReplyDeleteRegardless of which partner is being abused, the victim should have enough sense to leave the relationship. The signs are always there in an abusive relationships. There are many people in the world that realizes the signs and leave the relationship. Will you follow their footsteps or make your own path?
A person's life can be destroyed from any abuse. Physical abuse comes from verbal abuse. The abuse can lead to certain conditions that will not satisfy the people in the relationship. "It can have many negative effects which can range from long-term problems with health to lowering of one's self esteem, depression, and anxiety". Some situations can even lead to death. Your life is important, so save it!
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/abusive-relationships-facts-about-abusive-relationship.html
Abuse is a growing issue here in the U.S. that is constantly looked over and will probably always be. Abuse has went as deep as high school students abusing their boyfriend/girlfriend in hopes that the couple will one day marry and be happy. For instance, I graduated with a couple that would literally fight at any given time, but after they would finish fighting and come back from suspension they would be right back together. Both the boy and girl would say something along the line of "I love him/her and we can make it through anything, we are getting married." My school never once reported these altercations to the police, which goes to show that abuse is clearly over looked by almost any and everyone.
ReplyDeleteDomestic violence is a serious issue. It's always on tv and in movies. Everyone knows its wrong, but we still let it happen. I just don't understand why people put up with it. I realize that some situations are really hard to get out of, but it seems like something that could be stopped. Maybe its because I've never been in the situation. I am not blaming it on the victim. It is totally the hitter's fault. There is a movie coming out on Lifetime about domestic violence. It's called Reviving Ophelia. It looks really good, and I hope that it shows some truth about domestic violence. How many deaths are caused as a result of domestic violence?
ReplyDeleteDomestic violence is not ok. Yes people go through it everyday. It is an problem that people do not understand. Abuse is always going to be around; no abuse is not ok but people seem to accept violence. How do people expect for abuse to stop when we advertise it on television and even music that we listen to? An example is Eminem song "love the way you lie". This song advertise domestic violence apart of the song states," if you f***ing try to leave again imma tie you to the bed and set the house on fire". So yes we want violence to stop but we listen to songs like this on an every day bases. Domestic violence is wrong but I do not think it is going no where no time soon.
ReplyDeleteif a man is in a abusive relationship with a female 9 out 10 they wont tell because they dont want to look like a punk cause they letting a girl man handle them so there do be cases like that but people dont want other to know about it. its not ok for a female to abuse the man anyway because it knocks down his pride and it will change him as a person and he will start acting different around other women too cause he might think they would do the same to him so men shouldnt get abuse by women
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